Earlier this week I couldn’t help but be shocked by what seems to be the continuation of a hidden age-old battle for the control of women’s bodies in public spaces by the (probably male) wordsmiths in the high corporate castle.

Let’s just put the two signs beside each other and ask what are they trying to tell us? What is their statement on how landed transnational corporations view Irish society?

For the opening salvo we have the the subjects of the clause. ‘Gent’, deriving from the French for gentlemen, denotes a well-educated man of distinction and of courteous conduct. It is an index of rank and value in society. Fair enough. Coupled with the word ‘toiletries’ we are left feeling that these words are abstract, refined and protected from judgement.

The connotations on the other hand, for ‘hygiene’ bring us back to purity, order, and a belief in self-discipline and purging unwanted germs. Add feminine, rather than lady or another value equivalent of gentlemen, and these words create a internally sanitised feminised self.  It makes sanitary citizens of women and objectifies their bodies in the process as spaces for purification.

Could the Catholic church have masterminded these signs into being as part of the post-church/state constitutional compromise? Cleanliness is, after all, next to Godliness.

I can’t say that I am very pleased by all of this.

Women of Bray: rally for universal vindication of desexualised toiletry products!

Snapped up in the Beach House by an always vigilant Bray People.Eamonn O’ Connor: longest arms in Bray.

But was there a Guinness Book of Records official on hand to register this feat and if not can we submit it electronically?

It comes then as a slippery fish as you should look for that golden gem of a photo hiding deep down somewhere under that titillating hood. Like searching for Wally, you just have to cover one eye and look hard, real hard, and prepare laughing jets (and sexy time faces?) for go. It’s in there. And usually in the sports pages.

This is why you should buy the Bray People.

The 21st Century anti-jam rag Rebels are on a mission to save Greystones (and Bray) from the excesses of modern Ireland. Currently unsigned, the pair (Ruaidhrí and Diarmuid) have released their latest single to coincide with the momentous state visit of Queen Elizabeth II. While the single doesn’t make any direct references to Her Maj, were the twins hoping to ignite their own rebellion under the Royal wreath that was respectfully laid that week?

Judge for yourselves.

But fear not. Scroll on:

To mark and celebrate the long awaited return of Bray’s iconic hardest working bins we are commissioning a regular feature called Bins of Bray. Feel free to sit back, relax and bask in that iconic black plastic bag bobbing in the baskety breeze with the rugged well trodden Bray Head swallowing up the skyline to your hearts content.

Enjoy.

Feel free to send us your champion bins of Bray shots and we will post them up as part of this on going feature to celebrate Bray’s hardest workers to the.vicarofbray@gmail.com or else link them from your own blog in the comments section below.

Town council meetings are, as we know, always rammed in October in the lead up to the deciding which lucky sod will be bestowed with turning on the Christmas lights in December. I was as surprised and impressed as you were to learn that the Councillors were compelled to break off from the planned agenda in the middle of a meeting to discuss an emergency issue in James Everett Park (minute of the meeting available here):

“There is a tenant hanging their clothes out of the front window. The residents here have sufficient back gardens. Can the council write to the landlord asking for this to be rectified?”

Following the administrative officer’s assurances that she would contact the landlord regarding this wildly belligerent tenant it appears that this matter has fallen off of the scope of the council’s interests in recent months.

What happened? Was the council successful in demanding the removal of the clothes from the front window? Did the tenant stage a dirty protest?

***Link/send in pictures of the James Everett Park standoff if you are passing by – and feel free to take pictures of your own freshly cleaned clothes in your own front window, send them in and we will post them on the blog.

Solidarity with smooth, huggable clean nonbio fabrics with a gentle fragrance in James Everett Park!

As we scan over the last couple of months and look to the future there is plenty to talk about, but for the moment I shall leave you with this doozy : Bray retailer’s “new” shop local poster as part of their shop local campaign, designed in June 2009 and only now getting to see the light of day. Let’s take a look.

Feel free to turn away and down a couple of Rennies, for those with weak stomachs.

Is this actually meant to be inspirational? Who is responsible for butchering the copy-editor and presenting this industrial decree that makes commands rather than informs readers?

While the question ‘but how so?’ hangs on every line of this ten point capitalist manifesto, these can be easily overlooked for the excruciatingly bland visual representation of six ‘members of the local community’ that are delightfully wielding over-priced shopping bags (hello manifesto point no.6 – does really communicate reducing the carbon footprint of the town by reusing shopping bags for instance?) and held together at the center by Chad, or Rick, or whatever that chargrilled hunk is called. AND no jackets or jumpers!

Seriously? Bray? I can’t say that I have ever guffawed in any comparable way as this enthusiastic bunch when picking up longjohns on sale from Dunnes or over that head bangingly reluctant emergency shirt buy from Alans.

The saddest part of this charade has to be toneless, flat, all white shoppers that the poster carries as reflecting the town. It shows no signs of the diversity or brilliantly multicultural community that Bray has become. Instead, we are left with 6 white mid-twenty year-old-so-and-so’s that are on loan for the summer direct from istockphoto.com (that’s a hard left turn on the road to Roscommon when passing through Longford, for all you geographers). Probably.

Who’s to say that a photo of people visiting the town wouldn’t have worked any better or had more of an impact? A collage of these maybe?

A statement from the Bray Town Council newsfeed clears matters up for us:

The Bray Retailers are currently preparing a campaign which will run in conjunction with the posters. This campaign will consist of a voucher book which will be distributed to 14,000 homes in Bray and will be launched shortly. Any retailers interested in getting involved in the campaign or getting a poster please contact Bray Chamber at 01-282848.

Oh well.

For those not familiar with Bray I suggest you completely ignore this poster and bring a packed lunch and some disappointment if you are visiting. The coffee and icecream are alright I suppose, but that’s about it.

What a sight there was to behold!

Many visitors from south county, inner city Dublin and wandering first time DART’ers had succumb to Bray Town Council’s (BTC) nifty new trendy “anti-litter” campaign by advertising on, prepare yourselves for this, bins.

Are they taking the piss?

Is it unreasonable to believe that anyone frogmarching near or passing a bin with any potential rubbish might incur a likely high probability to make use of the bin, regardless of these ridiculously cartoony posters? Four questions spring to mind:

1. Does the giant friendly Sesame Street bin indicate a BTC target audience of 3-5 year olds, who might otherwise be with their parents and have yet to be exposed to endless joys of feeding Oscar the Grouch‘s insatiable appetite?
2. Is the image suggestively referring seafront visitors to discard their rubbish into the friendly Irish Sea that will just wash all their empty Henry and Rose/Cassoni chip-bag sized troubles away?
3. Could this local PR stunt and designing, marketing and printing monies have been put to better use? As far as I can see these posters were printed during the great silence between when the Recycling Center was shut shut down and miraculously reopened last week without any loud public appeal from incoming councilors or hustings on the issue in the process. Something is being distorted in this picture.
4. Was  this just a cynical attempt at a photo opportunity in the next tidy towns competition or a genuine move for change? What about targeting public spaces that would engage litter bugs that would otherwise possess a bin-phobia and therefore stay clear of anti-litter spaces? Two words: no brainer.

On one last point, take a look at the effects of the Town Council’s green policy with regard to the new fandango anti-dumping bins and what this has done for high impact users since the large steel drums were removed -images brought to you courtesy of professional photographer Gar Goyle.

What would the Good Bürgers in Wicklow County Council – ahem, greenest county council in Ireland 2009 please stand up – think about all of this? Is it just a matter for the last roll of councilors before the June local elections? Former Minister for the Environment?

Beautiful Bray? Scroll on…